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Literally.

So, question, how many times a day do you poop? How long after meals?

OMFG... Why do you want to know such details?

For science.

Also, when you go, is it instant? Or do you have to tease it a while?

It's usually instant, but sometimes I have to tease a little bit. Maybe 2 times, at most. I remember I went 3 times once, but I ate something bad, that's why. You want me to tell you about shape and density of it?

I poop about 0.8 times a day. I don't eat a lot. I almost never poop in the morning, aint nobody got time for that, too sleepy and got to go to school, if I don't have to go to school I don't wake up until noon.
I also never get those people who spend so much time on the toilet they have to read a newspaper. For me the whole procedure is like 2 minutes at max.



Why not. I remember there was once a blog in Estonian where some guy just talked about his shit every day, what it felt and looked like and described the whole process in an interesting way and comparing his shits to unrelated things.

Typically once or twice a day.

Usually once in the morning if I ate late the night before(which happens often because I get the munchies at like midnight, make something, then pass out), and usually once that evening almost immediately after eating dinner at a normal time.

Any nervous dumpers here?

I don't usually have a problem with it. But this new job means no bathroom for about 10-12 hours.

So damn annoyingly stressful.

Doesn't sound healthy!

Its not!

And I mean, I could stop to take a dump. But then that pressure of rushing geta to me, and I take forever. And I'm well aware that I'm taking forever. Which only makes me take longer.

Over complicating the basics ftl.

That sucks. I would intentionally drag out my poops at work to last ~30 minutes. Whip out the phone, check Facebook and stuff, maybe play a quick game, and come out without even realizing you took 30 minutes.

See, its just me and the guy who owns the company running around all day to fix peoples garage doors.

We both get paid off of sales, not an hourly wage. So any time I spend in el bano is less dinero en mis pantalones. And, more importantly, his.

Which only makes it worse.

Luckily though, I've learned that having a solid pre game in the morning is key to success throughout the day. So its getting easier. Still annoying though.

Well, I'm talking about your bladder!

I've only once taken a shit in a 'public' place. It was at work once, it was impossible to hold it back. I've never taken a shit in school though. And once as a child I took a shit in some bushes next to a parking lot.

The hell? How is that even possible?!?

Plus, in north dakota I had to take a few dumps out in the wild. And while it was less than idea pooping situations. I did leave me with a strange sense of empowerment.

Never took shit in some public place, not even at my friends' places. I can always hold it in.

I shit once in the morning and before I take a shower at night.

I was around 11 or 12, out shopping with my mom. I had a fear of shitting in public places so I held it in. I went and told my mom I had to go and she said ok we'll leave in 5 minutes. 20 minutes later I'm still walking around trying to muster all my sphincter strength to hold back the immense wave of shit. I decide maybe I just need to fart and do so, it feels great, so much relief just washes over me. I start to walk a bit and see something that looked like a Hershey's Kiss fall out of my pants leg. I bend down to look at it and wonder why it's unwrapped. I realized that it's shit and I run back to the bathroom pull my pants down and in my boxers is about a pound and a half of shit. I tear off my pants and boxers and slam them into the wall, wipe my ass and walk away. I return to my mother who is still shopping and tell her that I shit my pants.

Ever since then I shit when and where I need to.

omg i shit usually 4-5 times, and somedays i can shit like 10 times seriously.


i eat alot though around 8 meals a day 4k+ calories


oh and since im on some high protein diet the smell of it is just plain toxic, it doesnt even smell like shit it smell like the bathroom is turning into auswitch.

I know that feeling. Up in the oil patch I was probably eating even more than that.

I haven't taken a shit at my friend's place either (because I don't have any friends). I have taken a shit at my sister's place because that was about 1600 kilometres from home and I was there for a week.

Speaking of public places, I once sat at a bus stop and made a nice big pool of vomit on front of many people. Shortly after my bus came so I got up and left. Also once I was going to school and I was feeling kinda shitty so I vomited onto the seat on front of mine(unfortunately there wasn't anyone sitting there) and after that I felt great, only my jacket smelled a bit.

One time this dude who was sitting one row in front of me (Who would later become one of my best friends lol) vomited all over his desk. It took me more than 5 minutes to even realise something had happened XD. I only noticed cause people started getting really noisy at some point, if not I probably wouldn't have looked up till the end of class D:

since then I never pay attention in class. It's too dangerous, my focus could make ignore a nuke D: (jklol)

Coachella sort of conditioned me for needing to shit as little as possible.

When it's 110 outside, a burning up port-a-potty in the middle of the sun does not sound enticing at all.

Dude, bonaroo was the exact same way.

Imagine 120k people, 100 outhouses for all of them, and 110 degree weather.

Yeah, I didn't take a shit there the entire time.

If I'm going for a shit, know I'll be there for at least 30 mins

I also never take a dump in public places because tbh I'd infest the whole area. Only feel comfortable doing it in my own washroom