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Hi, it's always nice to see couples playing. my wife Solyn and i both play, so maybe i can offer some insights to that as well.
first off, if the two of you are going to be playing in a party together most of the time, you may want to pick builds that complement each other. for instance, it might be nice to have a tank and a nuker working together, or maybe both hybrids. the same thing goes for elements. my wife and i found ice/cold a nice combo to complement each other. i used ice to slow enemies, while her shock effect would make us both hit harder, so stuff went down pretty fast. the whole point of this style would be to have one character that's strong in the other's weak points, so that the pair as a whole is strong.
of course, that's only one option. you could also build two similar characters. two full str, for instance, would have massive HP and would be hard to kill. two int users would be nice also, since two nukes hitting something at once is devastating. the point here would be to have builds similar enough that you would both level at the same rate, and be roughly the same in killing speed, etc.
now, as to some of your questions in specific..... i personally can't recommend lightning for bow if you're going with a STR build, which is what most bowers seem to use. the only reason i say that is the shock damage that lightning gives off. one of the main advantages of bows is that you don't have to wade into a mob of enemies, and you pick them off one at a time. lightning can somewhat negate that however, since the imbue damage spreads to other nearby enemies, and makes them come after you. so, you end up being mobbed. i won't tell you not to do it, because i haven't tried it, but it just seems like it might not be the most effective way to go. one way to help with that may be to get the buffs from the cold tree, to increase your defense so that when you do get mobbed, you'll be able to survive it better.
as for the glaiver, fire seems to be the number one choice, followed by lightning, and then cold last. this is just based on my observations on the forum and in game, since i've never used a glaive. i don't see any reason that lightning would be bad for it, but i'd back it up with some of the fire buffs, particularly the physical damage increase. the whole point of a glaive is to give upfront damage all in one shot, so added damage is always good.
as for STR versus INT....... with bows you can go either way, but most use STR. with INT characters, you already have a ranged attack(magic), so it kinda defeats the purpose of having a bow also. that's my point of view anyway. the STR bow is good for ranged attacks, and won't die too quickly if something gets in your face.
for the glaive, you'd want STR. glaives are better at physical damage, so it's the obvious choice. of course, you can put some points into INT as well, but the only advantage that really gives is reduced potion usage, and it may not be worth the loss of STR points. if you want to buff up your int, i'd say to do it with equipment instead of -real- stat points. and the same goes for just about any STR build as far as i can tell.
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it really just comes down to what you want. every person that replies is probably going to give you a different answer, or disagree with something that somebody else said. there's no one right way to do it, and there's really not too many ways to screw it up if you plan it out right. just have fun, it's a game after all, right? ^^
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