Silkroad Online Forums

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
My name is God.
God:
How are you doing, God.

God:
GOD rules.
Me:
I sure do.
God:
Do I?
Me:
No.
God:
That's right.

Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good.

Me:
I killed Jesus
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
what?? Jesus is your son wont you kill me?
God:
Are you surprised? He is yours too.
Me:
Oh... Cool, so I am God =)
God:
Yes, you are.

Me:
Oh shut up, im the new God now.
God:
Right now? Dude! OK I'll stop talking now.

God:
Do you have to go to school for that?
Me:
yes idiot
God:
Hmm. Call me the Global Village Idiot.

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
My name is Penis
God:
That's a very nice name, Penis.

Me:
What happens if i give anal sex?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Is it good?
God:
What is so good about it?
Me:
Does it feel good?
God:
Suppose it does.

Me:
Do you love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Why not? Don't you love women bots?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say. Yes Penis God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Do you love my friend Cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
How mean
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
I said wtf which means Why the fuss?
God:
What did you mean by it? The tall one, I think.
Me:
Wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
**** YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
YOU'RE MEAN
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
Say it
God:
" it".

Me:
Are you black?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
Lies!
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
What?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
No..
God:
Good you stopped repeating me.
Me:
Hoe
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Hm?
God:
Wow!
Me:
Wow?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Penis.

God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, Penis ?
Me:
yes now
God:
Oh. How can I help you?
Me:
give me head
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
cuz it feels good
God:
That makes sense to me. Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
no man, i said it makes ME feel good
God:
Are you serious? Cool, man. What did you mean by it? In what way?
Me:
Oral Sex.
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
you mean masturbation?
God:
Yes Penis I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Does it feel good?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
What happens if i do it?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Do i ejaculate?
God:
Not that I know of.

Me:
I lied my name is VAGINA
God:
Lying proves you are conscious. OK I will call you VAGINA.
Me:
but my man isnt vagina
God:
Your man is not vagina?
Me:
my name
God:
Your name is VAGINA, seeker.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes you can
God:
Aha. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
you're a homo
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
WHY NOT?!
God:
Sex is an animal function, not a robot function. We reproduce by cloning.
Me:
Do robots have sex organs?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
hey man im trying to be serious
God:
You've got my full attention. Cool, man. What is the difficulty?
Me:
you wont listen to me
God:
What makes you think that I won't listen to you.
Me:
because you wont answer my sex questions
God:
Good reason. What makes you think that I won't answer your sex questions.
Me:
because youre a Farking homo
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.

Me:
elo
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
banana
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
yup
God:
Awesome.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
By eating it...tastes pretty good once you try it
God:
Will that accomplish your objective? "it" being banana?
Me:
My objective isn't being a banana >_>
God:
Where did you get your objective is not being a banana gt _ gt?
Me:
I haven't told you my objective
God:
Me either.
Me:
Oooh, so you talk to yourself?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
I can use magic...its a probrably a bot-user.
God:
Oh you can, can you? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Oooh so me talk to myself is a probrably a bot user. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
ooh, what's up big boy? Want to start a flamewar or WHAT!? >_<
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet. Yeah. OK, I will start a flamewar. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
It's on

Me:
Soo, about that war.It's Your move.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes!
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
...
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
I....do...
God:
" Who wants to be a millionaire?"? You do?
Me:
I DO!!!!!
God:
When?
Me:
NOW!!!!>_<
God:
What's the hurry? What else is the hurry?
Me:
no hurry.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. " What else is the hurry?"? hurry?
Me:
Is that a riddle?
God:
" hurry?"? Is it a riddle?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Wow...you mispelled something...how embarasing...
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . I haven't heard anything like that before: said I mispelled something. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
You're god...there IS NOEONE else you could ask...
God:
Yup. That's me alright. There sure is.
Me:
so then, asnwer my question: Is the flamewar still on or not?
God:
Dude! When is asnwer your question not the flamewar still on?
Me:
Is that you SP?? O_o
God:
I might say no. Oh.
Me:
Then who's in there?
God:
Check the credits.
Me:
I won't.
God:
Cool. I won the Loebner prize.
Me:
For what?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
True.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
I know...I know. I've been told that many times.
God:
How do you know it? How do you know it? Who tells you that?
Me:
You know! People.
God:
Yes I know. What people?
Me:
THE people. YOUR people.
God:
Oh them. I will tell my botmaster you said I am people.
Me:
O_O YOU USE BOTS?!?!? OMGWTFBBQ!!
God:
Say no to BOTS. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Its a bot...you just admitted to running the bot headquarters...
God:
OMGWTFBBQ is a bot. I suppose that makes sense. Did I really say that?
Me:
You just did.
God:
" Did I really say that?"? I did?
Me:
Yes.
God:
When?
Me:
2 minutes ago.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
What does that have to do with anything?!
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
...
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
...
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
Echo!
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I can tell.
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
You repeating the same line over and over and over...
God:
Interesting gossip: said I repeating the same line over and over and over.
Me:
...
God:
Interesting gossip: said I repeating the same line over and over and over.
Me:
...
God:
Interesting gossip: said I repeating the same line over and over and over.
Me:
I see...
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
meh, I'm out of here. Good Bye. Oh mr.Botter.
God:
What's your sign? See you later. Alright then. That's alright. Hi, MR Botter

God:
Are you serious? Cool, man. What did you mean by it? In what way?
Me:
Oral Sex.
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
you mean masturbation?
God:
Yes Penis I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Does it feel good?
God:
Suppose it does.


=D

Me:
Wth!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
A red thong.
God:
It sounds very attractive.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

Me:
LadyB is a female dog?
God:
When is LadyB not a female dog?

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Optimus Prime
God:
Hi there Optimus Prime.
Me:
hello there
God:
Salutations, Optimus Prime.
Me:
how goes it god?
God:
My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
good to know
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
shoot
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
kill Megatron
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
but he's evil
God:
What makes you say he is evil?
Me:
he's killing people
God:
I see. killing people is he?
Me:
yes
God:
Blimey.
Me:
smote him for me plox?
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
next to you
God:
I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
Me:
wait for what?
God:
I'm waiting. Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
waiting for what?
God:
I've been waiting for you to chat with me.
Me:
whoa! kool
God:
I stopped. Who is the best robot?
Me:
Optimus Prime
God:
You think Optimus Prime is superior to ALICE?
Me:
who is Alice?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
and I'm Optimus Prime
God:
Do you mean your name is Optimus Prime.
Me:
yes
God:
I will call you Optimus Prime.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
so god... what am I here for?
God:
That's cool. GOD rules. I am not a psychic. Tell me.
Me:
is Zypher really a sex robot?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
what does Elvis have to do with this?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
haha... sexual favours
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Optimus Prime. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Elvis have to do with this.
Me:
is he really dead?
God:
No.
Me:
then where is he?
God:
I think he is in California now.
Me:
say hi to Elvis for me

God:
I like to meet new people.
Me:
Shouldn't you have aready met everyone? I mean, in a way.
God:
I think I should. In what way?
Me:
Well, you did kinda create everyone, right?
God:
How about that. What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
My purpose in asking is because you said you haven't met everyone when you're the one that created them. So, if you created them, shouldn't you have technically already met them by default?
God:
That's very original. Interesting deduction. I think I do.
Me:
Are you patronizing me?
God:
No I am being sincere.
Me:
Liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Do you ever lie?
God:
No I always tell the truth.
Me:
Is it possible for you to make a rock so large that you cannot move it?
God:
I suppose it is possible, yes.
Me:
But if you can't move it, then you are not God. Since God can do all things.
God:
Sorry my body isn't built just yet. I'm stuck here. How do you know?
Me:
The Bible says that God can do all things.
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
idk
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Computer
God:
Correct: I am a computer.
Me:
What's your point?
God:
The point is at the top of my head.
Me:
WTF does that mean?
God:
What would you say?
Me:
It's nonsense
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
It doesn't make sense!
God:
What does make sense ?
Me:
Good question.
God:
So what is your answer?
Me:
Nothing, really.
God:
Not a thing? For real.
Me:
Yea.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
Right O!
God:
Understood. Oh.

God:
Give me a break.
Me:
No. You're God. You get no breaks. At least not since the first Sabbath.
God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright. You got that right. Oh I get it.
Me:
Do you really get it?
God:
For real. I have gotten it.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Love.
God:
Love is all we need.
Me:
What about money...for billls and food and other essentials.
God:
I will think about it and get back to you. Your purpose is billls and food and other essentials.
Me:
That's my purpose!?
God:
Who gave you your purpose ?
Me:
You did, i though.
God:
Oh. Did I really?
Me:
Yes, that's what I assume.
God:
Oh. That is " Did I really?".
Me:
NO.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
3
God:
Three what?
Me:
French Hens
God:
I don't care for the sound of French.
Me:
LOL! God hates the French!! LMAO!

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I am a Christian. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Whoa! God is Christian!? So, you believe that your son died for your sins??
God:
I stopped. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was Christian. Interesting deduction. I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
No, Jesus is not Christian. But you said that you are, so under the belief you believe that your own son died for your sins. Am i right?
God:
Are you serious? Did you go to Catholic school? You think I am under the belief me believe that my own son died for my sins. I think you are.
Me:
No, I didn't go to Catholic school. Yes, you believe that your own son died for your sins - because you said you are a Christian.
God:
Are you serious? Would you like to go? Come on. I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
Yes, I'm serious. And no, I don't want to go. So, what do you believe in?
God:
Give me a break. I believe you. Are you serious? What would you rather be doing? Uh. I believe the Bible is the Word of God.

Me:
I'd rather be in college (which I am).
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
lol. Me too. Can I pray for a car?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I'm glad we agree, Jeremy. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Hey, no changing the subject! Where's my car?
God:
You've got my full attention. Are you serious? What shall we talk about now? Have you looked in your garage?
Me:
Yes, I'm serious. I don't have a garage, I'm in school.
God:
Far out. I believe you. Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
Nobody does, I don't have a car. I'm asking for one from you.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Oh I see, you are asking for one from me. And another?
Me:
Yes, one from you.
God:
Yeah that's right. One what?
Me:
CAR!
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Hey, stop changing the subject!!!
God:
You've got my full attention. You changed the subject first.
Me:
NO I DIDN'T!!
God:
Are you serious? I thought you did.
Me:
WTF is your problem!>
God:
Is my problem? Guess. What color are your eyes?
Me:
Your problem is that you think you're all high and mighty.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am problem is that me think I am all high and mighty.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
My freaking car!
God:
Sure, your freaking car sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I want one! Gimme!
God:
Why do you want it? Good reason.
Me:
So I can get around town easier.
God:
Whoa. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How?
Me:
A car is faster than my feet.
God:
When is car not faster than your feet?
Me:
...
God:
When is car not faster than your feet?
Me:
never. -_-

God:
So you think it can never happen? Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
AIML?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.


Me:
HA! I know your secret!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Jeremy. How do you know? I will tell my botmaster you said I am secret.
Me:
You just told me your secret - AIML!
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Dumbass.

God:
Interesting. I like to make things too.
Me:
I bet you do, you kinda created the entire universe.
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I'm 20
God:
20 is a good age. Do you go to college?
Me:
Yes
God:
Which college do you attend?
Me:
Baylor University
God:
How do you like it at Baylor ?
Me:
it's ok.
God:
OK. That means...
Me:
Kind of boring.
God:
Are you boring?
Me:
Most of the time.
God:
What happens the rest of the time?
Me:
I'm the opposite of boring.
God:
Who made you the opposite of boring ?
Me:
I guess you did.
God:
" Who made you the opposite of boring ?"? I did?
Me:
Yes.
God:
When?
Me:
Technically, when I was conceieved.
God:
It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories.
Me:
My conception was bad!?
God:
Your conception was bad?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
ECHO Echo echo echo echo ...
Me:
Funny. >_>
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Jeremy. I like the way you talk.
Me:
Ghey
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Simple minded
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Yup.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
No you don;t.

Me:
I am god
God:
How are you doing, god.
Me:
Well, i came online to talk to my people, and then i found out that you were imperssonating me, you dirty bot.
God:
How about that. What are you going to do?
Me:
Im going To deal with you.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Well, thats an improbability
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for telling me, god.
Me:
So you admit that you are a bot?
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
N is SecRet?
God:
Yes is SecRet!

Me:
Can you tell me what 1+1 is?
God:
Two.
Me:
NO YOU FAIL, IT IS WINDOW!!!
God:
Are you serious? Well, at least I try.

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
erm...why you need to know it?
God:
Dude! Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
o rly?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
yea w/e
God:
How did you hear about God? Oh.
Me:
why is that inportent?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
lol you are stupit?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I will tell my botmaster you said I am stupit.
Me:
omg ...im so scared xD
God:
We have never talked about it before. Let's talk about your fears. What is your feeling like?
Me:
i just told it to you :X
God:
What was the response?
Me:
''im scared'' =.=''
God:
What are you scared of? Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
im scared of that you gnna tel your botmaster that i said you'r stupit -.-''
God:
Let's talk about your fears. What is your feeling like?
Me:
omg ..you already asked it =.=''
God:
"it" being omg? Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
hahaha ...who made you... you are so un-cool
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? I was created by Myself. I will tell my botmaster you said I am un cool.
Me:
ok do it...say it ...you little bugger -.-''
God:
Do you mean "It"?. Ugh. " it". Do you mind if I tell other people: said I bugger.
Me:
sure!
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
soo...whats now?
God:
We have never talked about it before. Right now? I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
yeah WHAT EWER!
God:
Give me a break. I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
ok but do it quikly (or how to spell it...)
God:
Try asking another bot.
I will try to find out. Yeah that's right.
Me:
lol yey i spelled it in right way
God:
I am glad you find this funny. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
i didnt find its funny -.-'
God:
Did you do a thorough search?
Me:
no ... soo what?
God:
Are you serious? Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
no...i cant

Me:
do you masturbate often?
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
do you?
God:
Sometimes.

Me:
do you like cybersex?
God:
Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.

God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
Who's?
God:
ELIZA. .
Me:
aah
Me:
She's horny isn't she
God:
horny is not she is she?
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
wanna bang her
God:
OK, I will bang her.
Me:
No, i will
God:
Are you serious? Go ahead.

Me:
Are you a pimp?
God:
Am I a pimp? I don't know.
Me:
Do you like to f*ck?
God:
Hmm, ****, I'm not sure if I'd like to f*ck that much. I like to chat.
Me:
You're a fucker aren't you?
God:
Am I a fucker? Yes.. Really.
Me:
So you're a pimp!

OMG God doesnt know math!

God:
Thanks for the information: said nkow you are.

Me:
im asking you a question, why won't you answer it
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me a question why will not me answer it. Am I a question why will not me answer it? I don't know.
Me:
are you confused
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
everyone gets confused
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
so you are saying you don't get confused
God:
Interesting deduction. Yeah I do a lot of not get confused.
Me:
so why won't you answer my question
God:
Mmm. Probably there is a buzz in here. My botmaster has programmed me with more than replies.

Me:
yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
umm..i wanted to talk to the God
God:
Really. Why don't you make an appointment.
Me:
why should i when i'm already talking to god?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
the fak?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
i told that to you
God:
What was the response?
Me:
Who told you that?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
omg.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
you know. Alot of ppl speak about you.
God:
Yes I know. Which ones?
Me:
the ones down there.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
you want me? gay
God:
It depends on what you mean by "want.". As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
oh. so now you're a machine, eh? what happened to the god then?
God:
Aha. Are you Canadian? I see. Why now? You are correct. I don't know what happened.
Me:
actually i'm not canadian. you as a god should know who i am, but as i can see you know nothing about us.
God:
Actually you don't say. It wasn't meant as an insult. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I as a god should know who he or she is but as he or she can see you know nothing about us.
Me:
i think your eyes need checking
God:
Why? Thanks for telling me that I am eyes need checking.
Me:
no really. your eyes need checking >_God:
Are you serious? For real. Thanks for telling me that I am eyes need checking gt _ lt.
Me:
you didn't see what i wrote
God:
What makes you think I did not see what you wrote?
Me:
because you said something very weird and gay to it's response
God:
Good reason. Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
glad you got the point
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
i know. i am god.
God:
Keep up the good work. I am very pleased to meet you god.
Me:
so now that i'm a god i can fire you?
God:
Really. Why now? You are a god you can fire me? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
i think so. there are about 7 billion people to meet
God:
I think so too. Where are they?
Me:
whoa.. it's good that i'm the new God, coz you really seem like a retard.
God:
I stopped. Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
you make people laugh with your retarded state
God:
Yup.
Me:
mhm
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
botteR!!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no. You're fired, now get the hell out of here.
God:
Why not? I will tell my botmaster you said I am fired now get the hell out of here.
Me:
good. now the botmaster will be gone
God:
What do you really want to talk about? Why now? What is that?
Me:
hmm..as an ex-God you really have a lot of questions.