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 Post subject: Friends?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 6:53 am 
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I've have alot of time to argue with myself over the course of a day and normally i solve my own problems bu tthis ones been bugging me...

The concept of friendship is universal. but what makes a friend a good one and if a friends not a good one does that mean they're a friend at all. I have a clique that i hang out with and i don't stry to far from them, there not many places i fit in. But lately i've been wondering if the people i call my friends are really "friends". I talk with them, i laugh with them, i enjoy there company, i fight with them, i debate with them, i connect with them. And yet i can't feel like i'm playing to a role. I feel like if i weren't as funny and charming as i am these people wouldn't be my friends.

So then i get the feeling that i need to be funny and charming to keep them. But someone can only wear a mask for so long. Its not like im not funny and charming but im not thos ethings ALL the time ther emore to me than that. And while some of my friends get that i don't think the others do. So is it friendship if you have to play whatever role it is you play otherwise there'd just be awkward silence. OR is real freindship when people are so comfortable with each other that they can sit around and do there own thing not saying a god damn word to each other and still feel like they're enjoying each others company.

AND if the latter of those two options is true then what do i call the people that don't fit the bill. They're more than aquaitences but less then friends..or are they more they just freinds and less then best friends....

How do you interact with you friends? Do you play a role?

this has just been bugging the hell out of the me I call us and we're very confuzzled about it. looking for some guidance here so ppl don't let me down now....

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:03 am 
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friends come and go.

they aren't really so important you can label anyone a friend and unlabel them any time you wish.
They are all secretly glad that you do less well than they do and you probably do as well. would they cry if your dad got cancer, you probably wouldnt either if it was their dad.
friends are there for the moment and sometimes for your convenience.
I never got that, friendship is a great treasure shit. I believe thats more rare than gold and i dont believe anyone will have the fortune to meet those.
Friends are not blood related, and from time to time people hurt their family for their benefits, so how can friends be important?

Back to your question, I interact with my friends when i feel like it and when they are around. and no i dont play a role. If the devil can add an extra 15 years to my youth for the souls of my friends. I tell ya wat id do it , and i know you would too


Last edited by XuChu on Tue Jun 26, 2007 7:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:28 am 
XuChu wrote:
friends come and go.


i disagree on that one.

and why the negativity in your story? i mean, ive HAD friends that came and
went, but that was always the type o guys that tried to prove themselve
towards me n my best mates. i have a group of 4 that is still (well.. is when
im in the netherlands that is <_<) in pub together each friday, and that has
been like that for the last idk 5 or 6 years. im sure that in 20 years they will
still be my friends for we have spent so much time together and know eachother
too well. im in australia now with my best friend. we have been traveling a
lot together and never gotten into a fight that big we couldnt handle it. we
have been trough so much together that we know eachother better than a big
part of my own family. idk, i guess i just want to say that some friends just
stay.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:33 am 
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this might be cliched, but just be urself. people will naturally be drawn to u, depending on who they find interesting. it doesn't always have to be the funny guy that gets friends.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:40 am 
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Quote:
friendship can only be defined by people's opinions
some are negative and others positive
if you value friendship enough to not be who you really are, then go for it
if you don't value you it THAT much, then be yourself and some people will like you for who you are. the importance of friendship is based on opinion.
what's yours?
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:45 am 
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My closest friend, I have known for 23/24 years.. She is the only person I turn to when I have a problem or I'm upset.. I tell her every thing and she tells me every thing..
Friends come and go, but I'm blessed to have a friend that will probably will always be there..


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 9:34 am 
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Ok some defintions of FRIEND which should make u happy :P

MeriamWebsterOnlineDictionary wrote:
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war -- called also Quaker


UrbanDictionary wrote:
A real friend is someone who:
a)it's okay to fart in front of.
b)you don't mind talking to on the bus for atleast 20 minutes.
c)can borrow $5 and never has to pay it back
d)you'll actually call up do stuff.


UrbanDictionary wrote:
a good friend will bail you outta jail.
a best friend will be right there next to you saying "dude that was Farking awesome!!!!!!!"


Now time to laugh :D

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:03 am 
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There are acquaintances and then there are friends. You will have lots of acquaintances in your lifetime but only a select few would be true friends. One of my true friends moved across country when we were very young.

But we managed to keep in contact via mail for quite a long time and then e-mail after a while when it was more common, and recently the internet helped me get back in contact with him again. Lots of other "friends" have moved away too but it didnt seem to affect me much.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:09 am 
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Innovacious wrote:
There are acquaintances and then there are friends. You will have lots of acquaintances in your lifetime but only a select few would be true friends. One of my true friends moved across country when we were very young.

But we managed to keep in contact via mail for quite a long time and then e-mail after a while when it was more common, and recently the internet helped me get back in contact with him again. Lots of other "friends" have moved away too but it didnt seem to affect me much.
I so agree with you.


I have a best friend, wow we talk about everything together, we have also been friends for about 10 years now. I feel comfortable around her, and I will always know she will be by my side if something bad were too happen too me, and same with me.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:41 am 
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XemnasXD wrote:

How do you interact with you friends? Do you play a role?


no. I dont need to.

I met my friends when i was myself so i dont need to "change to b better"

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:48 am 
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A friend for me .. is someone you trust anything with. I have one real good friend .. I'd do anything for him, he'd do anything for me. Proven many times in the 15 years we know each other. Other 'friends' ... I just call them 'mateys' sure peopel would call them friends .... but to me a friend is there for you.

On the intraweb I got quite alot of matey's ... but would never go as far to call them a friend. I reckon bout 40% of them lie about certain parts of their life anyways.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:08 pm 
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Crumpets wrote:
A friend for me .. is someone you trust anything with. I have one real good friend .. I'd do anything for him, he'd do anything for me. Proven many times in the 15 years we know each other. Other 'friends' ... I just call them 'mateys' sure peopel would call them friends .... but to me a friend is there for you.

On the intraweb I got quite alot of matey's ... but would never go as far to call them a friend. I reckon bout 40% of them lie about certain parts of their life anyways.


We no lie! We smoke and drink everyday :roll:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:19 pm 
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I c I c....

I'm still young enough to be naive when it comes to things like friendship. For anextra 15 years on my life i'd sell some of the souls of the ppl i hang out with to the devil. I guess the ones i wouldn't think of doing that too are the ones i should call my friends. My cousin said that people come into your life when they're needed and leave when they aren't, i have never been close to my family so friends have always been my version of a rock and when they move on i'll either have to find new ones or just hold on even more to the ones i have. And after sleeping on it i've come to the conclusion that that is unatural.

I will agree w a bit with XuChu and say that ppl come and go. But hopefully the people that i consider my real friends will stay in touch because certainly a good friend is always needed in life

you've all been really helpful thx for not letting me down :D

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:28 pm 
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Skitsefrenik wrote:

We no lie! We smoke and drink everyday :roll:


T_T you know what I mean.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 4:08 pm 
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My friend is the one on my right, when i look there in a time of need.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 7:29 pm 
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cin wrote:
XuChu wrote:
friends come and go.


i disagree on that one.

and why the negativity in your story? i mean, ive HAD friends that came and
went, but that was always the type o guys that tried to prove themselve
towards me n my best mates. i have a group of 4 that is still (well.. is when
im in the netherlands that is <_<) in pub together each friday, and that has
been like that for the last idk 5 or 6 years. im sure that in 20 years they will
still be my friends for we have spent so much time together and know eachother
too well. im in australia now with my best friend. we have been traveling a
lot together and never gotten into a fight that big we couldnt handle it. we
have been trough so much together that we know eachother better than a big
part of my own family. idk, i guess i just want to say that some friends just
stay.

think of it like this,
if someone told your friends that if they'd murder your parents and not get punished for it and those people would give them $5,000,000.
you decide if they will do it.

TBH my best friend ive known for 7 years openly admitted to me, that if my gf would sleep wit him he would say yes.well, I know this guy won't backstab me .

idk if its me and my environment where lots of people are, i dunno 'anti social' or what and friend is just a worthless label they can use to get what they want. But I don't think friends mean much to most people


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 Post subject: Re: Friends?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:41 pm 
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XemnasXD wrote:
I've have alot of time to argue with myself over the course of a day and normally i solve my own problems bu tthis ones been bugging me...

The concept of friendship is universal. but what makes a friend a good one and if a friends not a good one does that mean they're a friend at all. I have a clique that i hang out with and i don't stry to far from them, there not many places i fit in. But lately i've been wondering if the people i call my friends are really "friends". I talk with them, i laugh with them, i enjoy there company, i fight with them, i debate with them, i connect with them. And yet i can't feel like i'm playing to a role. I feel like if i weren't as funny and charming as i am these people wouldn't be my friends.

So then i get the feeling that i need to be funny and charming to keep them. But someone can only wear a mask for so long. Its not like im not funny and charming but im not thos ethings ALL the time ther emore to me than that. And while some of my friends get that i don't think the others do. So is it friendship if you have to play whatever role it is you play otherwise there'd just be awkward silence. OR is real freindship when people are so comfortable with each other that they can sit around and do there own thing not saying a god damn word to each other and still feel like they're enjoying each others company.

AND if the latter of those two options is true then what do i call the people that don't fit the bill. They're more than aquaitences but less then friends..or are they more they just freinds and less then best friends....

How do you interact with you friends? Do you play a role?

this has just been bugging the hell out of the me I call us and we're very confuzzled about it. looking for some guidance here so ppl don't let me down now....


If you dont enjoy the time with your friends its because you dont want to be there, and if you want to be there, you enjoy it, because its what you want.
I enjoy being with my friends because i feel much much better with someone, and i feel really alone if im ... alone.
Sometimes we can just do nothing, but i enjoy it
If you dont liek to be funny and charming, just dont be like that, be yourself.

and i would like to keep writing but i must go and study that i will have a test of a book tomorrow and i need to read 7 chapters :P

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:04 pm 
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Imagine moving away. Think about which one's you'd bother calling to stay in touch and visit, which one's would bother staying in touch and visiting you.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:33 pm 
XuChu wrote:
cin wrote:
XuChu wrote:
friends come and go.


i disagree on that one.

and why the negativity in your story? i mean, ive HAD friends that came and
went, but that was always the type o guys that tried to prove themselve
towards me n my best mates. i have a group of 4 that is still (well.. is when
im in the netherlands that is <_<) in pub together each friday, and that has
been like that for the last idk 5 or 6 years. im sure that in 20 years they will
still be my friends for we have spent so much time together and know eachother
too well. im in australia now with my best friend. we have been traveling a
lot together and never gotten into a fight that big we couldnt handle it. we
have been trough so much together that we know eachother better than a big
part of my own family. idk, i guess i just want to say that some friends just
stay.

think of it like this,
if someone told your friends that if they'd murder your parents and not get punished for it and those people would give them $5,000,000.
you decide if they will do it.


they wont :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:23 am 
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cin wrote:
XuChu wrote:
friends come and go.


i disagree on that one.

and why the negativity in your story? i mean, ive HAD friends that came and
went, but that was always the type o guys that tried to prove themselve
towards me n my best mates. i have a group of 4 that is still (well.. is when
im in the netherlands that is <_<) in pub together each friday, and that has
been like that for the last idk 5 or 6 years. im sure that in 20 years they will
still be my friends for we have spent so much time together and know eachother
too well. im in australia now with my best friend. we have been traveling a
lot together and never gotten into a fight that big we couldnt handle it. we
have been trough so much together that we know eachother better than a big
part of my own family. idk, i guess i just want to say that some friends just
stay.



I totally agree 8)

I also think my best friends know me better than most of the family know me

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:06 am 
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XuChu wrote:
cin wrote:
XuChu wrote:
friends come and go.


i disagree on that one.

and why the negativity in your story? i mean, ive HAD friends that came and
went, but that was always the type o guys that tried to prove themselve
towards me n my best mates. i have a group of 4 that is still (well.. is when
im in the netherlands that is <_<) in pub together each friday, and that has
been like that for the last idk 5 or 6 years. im sure that in 20 years they will
still be my friends for we have spent so much time together and know eachother
too well. im in australia now with my best friend. we have been traveling a
lot together and never gotten into a fight that big we couldnt handle it. we
have been trough so much together that we know eachother better than a big
part of my own family. idk, i guess i just want to say that some friends just
stay.

think of it like this,
if someone told your friends that if they'd murder your parents and not get punished for it and those people would give them $5,000,000.
you decide if they will do it.

TBH my best friend ive known for 7 years openly admitted to me, that if my gf would sleep wit him he would say yes.well, I know this guy won't backstab me .

idk if its me and my environment where lots of people are, i dunno 'anti social' or what and friend is just a worthless label they can use to get what they want. But I don't think friends mean much to most people


sounds like you hav elow standards for what you consider a friend...i don't think anyone of my friends would do that to me....or my associates for that matter

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:08 am 
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XemnasXD wrote:
XuChu wrote:
cin wrote:
XuChu wrote:
friends come and go.


i disagree on that one.

and why the negativity in your story? i mean, ive HAD friends that came and
went, but that was always the type o guys that tried to prove themselve
towards me n my best mates. i have a group of 4 that is still (well.. is when
im in the netherlands that is <_<) in pub together each friday, and that has
been like that for the last idk 5 or 6 years. im sure that in 20 years they will
still be my friends for we have spent so much time together and know eachother
too well. im in australia now with my best friend. we have been traveling a
lot together and never gotten into a fight that big we couldnt handle it. we
have been trough so much together that we know eachother better than a big
part of my own family. idk, i guess i just want to say that some friends just
stay.

think of it like this,
if someone told your friends that if they'd murder your parents and not get punished for it and those people would give them $5,000,000.
you decide if they will do it.

TBH my best friend ive known for 7 years openly admitted to me, that if my gf would sleep wit him he would say yes.well, I know this guy won't backstab me .

idk if its me and my environment where lots of people are, i dunno 'anti social' or what and friend is just a worthless label they can use to get what they want. But I don't think friends mean much to most people


sounds like you hav elow standards for what you consider a friend...i don't think anyone of my friends would do that to me....or my associates for that matter
Yeah I agree, my bff would never sleep with my bf. :P

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:13 am 
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Nixweerd wrote:
cin wrote:
XuChu wrote:
friends come and go.


i disagree on that one.

and why the negativity in your story? i mean, ive HAD friends that came and
went, but that was always the type o guys that tried to prove themselve
towards me n my best mates. i have a group of 4 that is still (well.. is when
im in the netherlands that is <_<) in pub together each friday, and that has
been like that for the last idk 5 or 6 years. im sure that in 20 years they will
still be my friends for we have spent so much time together and know eachother
too well. im in australia now with my best friend. we have been traveling a
lot together and never gotten into a fight that big we couldnt handle it. we
have been trough so much together that we know eachother better than a big
part of my own family. idk, i guess i just want to say that some friends just
stay.



I totally agree 8)

I also think my best friends know me better than most of the family know me


I think this would be a good way to know who your true friend is. If they know you very well, and they like and respect who you are, then i think they deserve to be called friends.

I have thought very much on this matter... and that diminished a lot the number of people i called "friends". Of course, the number doesn't matter on this but the fact of being able to do it. Someone who earns the "friend" label from you, will never take it off...


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:40 am 
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XemnasXD wrote:
sounds like you hav elow standards for what you consider a friend...i don't think anyone of my friends would do that to me....or my associates for that matter

i do have low standards for 'friends' however i am also aware these 'friends' are worthless.

anyways sounds like its just where I am, everyone think only for them selves,
for streaming exams they don't think of thing as "as long as i try my best at this exam its alright"
due to family pressure since to come my school the family needs to pay $200,000 extra for inzoned houses, just so their children can go to a good school
everyone guy here thinks "doing good is not enough,you have to do good and everyone else has to suck."


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:51 am 
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XuChu wrote:
XemnasXD wrote:
sounds like you hav elow standards for what you consider a friend...i don't think anyone of my friends would do that to me....or my associates for that matter

i do have low standards for 'friends' however i am also aware these 'friends' are worthless.

anyways sounds like its just where I am, everyone think only for them selves,
for streaming exams they don't think of thing as "as long as i try my best at this exam its alright"
due to family pressure since to come my school the family needs to pay $200,000 extra for inzoned houses, just so their children can go to a good school
everyone guy here thinks "doing good is not enough,you have to do good and everyone else has to suck."
Wait is that a bad thing? And HEY
thats what I say....for me doing good is a C. No, I will not let my grades go lower than a C+, being above good is a B+ or A.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:53 am 
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Friends...or cry yourself to sleep?

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:56 am 
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lexies2 wrote:
XuChu wrote:
XemnasXD wrote:
sounds like you hav elow standards for what you consider a friend...i don't think anyone of my friends would do that to me....or my associates for that matter

i do have low standards for 'friends' however i am also aware these 'friends' are worthless.

anyways sounds like its just where I am, everyone think only for them selves,
for streaming exams they don't think of thing as "as long as i try my best at this exam its alright"
due to family pressure since to come my school the family needs to pay $200,000 extra for inzoned houses, just so their children can go to a good school
everyone guy here thinks "doing good is not enough,you have to do good and everyone else has to suck."
Wait is that a bad thing? And HEY
thats what I say....for me doing good is a C. No, I will not let my grades go lower than a C+, being above good is a B+ or A.


We don't do thinks here by A B C or w.e they give you a your specific aggregate and what rank you are out of the 800 kids in your grade.
People around me, have so much pressure if they get ranked 150+ they tell me they wanna kill themselves.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:59 am 
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XuChu wrote:
lexies2 wrote:
XuChu wrote:
XemnasXD wrote:
sounds like you hav elow standards for what you consider a friend...i don't think anyone of my friends would do that to me....or my associates for that matter

i do have low standards for 'friends' however i am also aware these 'friends' are worthless.

anyways sounds like its just where I am, everyone think only for them selves,
for streaming exams they don't think of thing as "as long as i try my best at this exam its alright"
due to family pressure since to come my school the family needs to pay $200,000 extra for inzoned houses, just so their children can go to a good school
everyone guy here thinks "doing good is not enough,you have to do good and everyone else has to suck."
Wait is that a bad thing? And HEY
thats what I say....for me doing good is a C. No, I will not let my grades go lower than a C+, being above good is a B+ or A.


We don't do thinks here by A B C or w.e they give you a your specific aggregate and what rank you are out of the 800 kids in your grade.
People around me, have so much pressure if they get ranked 150+ they tell me they wanna kill themselves.
oh my! Now thats disturbing.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:01 am 
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lexies2 wrote:
oh my! Now thats disturbing.


???? why is that disturbing?


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:02 am 
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lexies2 wrote:
XuChu wrote:
lexies2 wrote:
XuChu wrote:
XemnasXD wrote:
sounds like you hav elow standards for what you consider a friend...i don't think anyone of my friends would do that to me....or my associates for that matter

i do have low standards for 'friends' however i am also aware these 'friends' are worthless.

anyways sounds like its just where I am, everyone think only for them selves,
for streaming exams they don't think of thing as "as long as i try my best at this exam its alright"
due to family pressure since to come my school the family needs to pay $200,000 extra for inzoned houses, just so their children can go to a good school
everyone guy here thinks "doing good is not enough,you have to do good and everyone else has to suck."
Wait is that a bad thing? And HEY
thats what I say....for me doing good is a C. No, I will not let my grades go lower than a C+, being above good is a B+ or A.


We don't do thinks here by A B C or w.e they give you a your specific aggregate and what rank you are out of the 800 kids in your grade.
People around me, have so much pressure if they get ranked 150+ they tell me they wanna kill themselves.
oh my! Now thats disturbing.


where do you come from?

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