Girlfriend Problems

Draquish · **Joined:** Mar 2006 **Posts:** 6423 **Location:** ____

WAIT!!! NOO!!! DON'T SOLVE YER PROBLEM SO FAST!!!(I want to read xD)

Rainigul · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 4490 **Location:**

cin wrote:

edit: imo you were in love but you didnt love her
and dont get me wrong; thats not meant to be mean, but i think
thats the way it is.

I don't get it.

Draquish · **Joined:** Mar 2006 **Posts:** 6423 **Location:** ____

I understand what Cin means.

And...from the summary...I conclude that she cheated on you...yeah, don't EVER take anything like that...if they cheated on you out of their own will, that's horrible...but to LIE TO YOU ontop of that...that's just unexplainable.

Don't get back w/ her.

Silkroad · **Joined:** Aug 2006 **Posts:** 995 **Location:** Gone

FenaCorp wrote:

LuV3r8o1 wrote:

FenaCorp wrote:

[snip]Said that I NEEDED to talk to her, even though I was busy, because it was our 2-month.
[snip]
And no, we didn't make 4-weeks, since I'm breaking up with you today. Stopped short of a month.

A tad bit inconsistent, eh?

Anyway, I ended up reading the whole thing.

Umm...advice?

I hated those days. When I was a teenager and really cared about every girl I was with. Such heartache and pain over some 15 yr old skeezer. ::sigh::

You broke a few rules there, kid.

You trusted her. Don't trust'em as far as you can throw them. Until they prove their worth. You were with her for 1 (maybe 2) month(s) - that's nothing. You moved way too fast.
You stayed with her despite her shady ass friend. Alicia snitched on Sophia (the going to the mall without you thing). If Alicia was a real friend she'd never snitch on Sophia and the fact that she did snitch shows no loyalty. So either, A) Sophia sucks at picking friends or B) Sophia knows she hangs around untrustworthy ppl. Either way, a person is defined byt he company they keep.
YOU SENT THE EMAIL!!! Worst move EVER! Ok...OK...you'll bounce back (hopefully). We've all made that mistake - it's technology's fault, not your's (mostly). NEVER send the email. Talk on the phone if you don't want to see her, if you don't mind seeing her, then talk face-to-face. NEVER send the email. EVER! Emotions are to be spoken with the eyes, not the fingers.
YOU CALLED THE OTHER GUY!?!?! Kid, you're mad at the wrong person! Despite popular belief, the guy did nothing wrong. End of story. But you did something wrong - you called him. Bad boy! BAD BOY!

With that said, you did at least one thing right. You got the upper hand in the end. The whole "if you clean up your act, i'll take you back" thing is good. Don't forget who has the upper hand!

Did you at least **** her?

Well... I met her on April 31st, and I kinda started to count that as the beginning, more or less. I asked her out finally on May 25th, but we've had already admitted to each other that we liked each like, two days after we met each other, lol... so, depends on how you count it. I didn't officially ask her out until the 25th, because I wanted to wait until a special moment... but, yeah. I'm not a liar like her. I just count it differently, sometimes, is all.

Quote:

Did you at least **** her?

I didn't include that for a reason. I'm going to get flames and dumbass comments like, "Pics or it didn't happen," if I told you how far we went. Or people would just lose respect for me because they'd think that I was lying. So that's why I didn't include it.

About Alicia - she was confiding in me, at that time, actually. She was beginning to get really sick of Sophia, and her lies, and at that precise time, I had popped up and started talking to her about it. I think she just needed someone to confide in. She's the kind of girl that hangs out with lots of freshmen / sophomores that go to my school, although she's just in 7th grade herself. One year younger than Sophia, and two younger than me. Really mature for her age, however, and she's proven to be a good friend.

Thanks for the comment, Luv3r. So, should I just forget her? Tell her, atleast or something? Or just let it be?
I mean, she sounded SO sincere!

@ Exality... Very wise words... I'll have to think about that.

Once again, thanks, everyone.

you all, and you know it.

I lol'd at the part in bold ...
anywho just dump her man, or if there's some booty tapping( oh im cool cuz i said that, vary nice) continue to go out with her for a while and then dump... doesn't matter how it goes down as long as u dump her, just like itonami said "once a liar always a liar"(she aslo seems to be very good at it just like u said) ... and besides u can alway go out with her friend Alicia ( if shes hot and u like here that is)

Nixweerd · **Joined:** Jun 2007 **Posts:** 94

I would say take some time of of her and go out with your friends, talk with them about it.
Normally you will be able to talk about it with your best friend. I do that a lot.
See how it goes after 1-2 months, if you still have feelings for her and see how she is doing.

cin wrote:

imo you were in love but you didnt love her

I think this will be the outcome

And always remember

you dont have a hand full, but a land full of girls :wink:

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 3:59 am

[SD]Rainigul wrote:

cin wrote:

edit: imo you were in love but you didnt love her
and dont get me wrong; thats not meant to be mean, but i think
thats the way it is.

I don't get it.

well in dutch it is a big difference between "verliefd zijn" en "houden van".
i will try to find you a good example.

edit: this is what i found on teh intrawebz

Intrawebz wrote:

It's helpful to know the difference between loving someone and "being in love," and it helps to do both in a relationship.

for example i meet a girl and i date her for like a week. she is very cute
and nice, and i like her but i dont know all about her yet so there might be
things i dont like about her. these things i dont notice because i only see
the good things cause she looks good and is fun to hang around with and
seems to be interested in me. at that point, i think about her a lot and i am
falling in love. this is how relationships normally start.

when you know just about everything about a woman, you know her goods
and her bads and like her even though she has a bad side, you are willing
to give up everything to be with her and you plan for her to have a spot in
your heart in the future, then you love her, you care about her and you
find it very hard or impossible to imagine a life without her.

there is / seems to be a possibility to get to know all about a woman and
love her for it by just looking in her eyes. thats called love at first sight and
rarely / never happens.

ShizKnight · **Joined:** Mar 2006 **Posts:** 3104 **Location:** _______

cin wrote:

[SD]Rainigul wrote:

cin wrote:

edit: imo you were in love but you didnt love her
and dont get me wrong; thats not meant to be mean, but i think
thats the way it is.

I don't get it.

well in dutch it is a big difference between "verliefd zijn" en "houden van".
i will try to find you a good example.

The saying in English goes backwards, I think.

Nixweerd · **Joined:** Jun 2007 **Posts:** 94

cin wrote:

[SD]Rainigul wrote:

cin wrote:

edit: imo you were in love but you didnt love her
and dont get me wrong; thats not meant to be mean, but i think
thats the way it is.

I don't get it.

well in dutch it is a big difference between "verliefd zijn" en "houden van".
i will try to find you a good example.

it is more like, you liked her very much, but you did not love her like you think you are

HyorunmarouZ · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 1839 **Location:** Hell.

FenaCorp wrote:

Those that think they've truly, and actually been in love before, and lost the person that they've loved - how did you feel? Just want a comparison...

"Losing" a loved person isn't the same ever... as all people are different, all the endings are different... in my case, was due to my own nature...

I don't use post personal stuff either in forums... but let's say that i can't stick with something for a long time... everything that looked exciting once, ends up losing its shine and sometimes it even take a horrible face...

I "lost" love because of that, and made me think really much about what "Love" means to me...

But there's a lot of people in the world... you might find one person who suits you and you feel together with.

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:06 am

ShizKnight wrote:

cin wrote:

[SD]Rainigul wrote:

cin wrote:

edit: imo you were in love but you didnt love her
and dont get me wrong; thats not meant to be mean, but i think
thats the way it is.

I don't get it.

well in dutch it is a big difference between "verliefd zijn" en "houden van".
i will try to find you a good example.

The saying in English goes backwards, I think.

yea might be i turned em around.. but read my examples and you might
get what i meant

XuChu · **Joined:** Apr 2006 **Posts:** 2429 **Location:** here

FenaCorp wrote:

Love at first sight? No. But very close to that.

I knew you were farked as soon as i read that. ^ dont exist, pure love does not exist.

Now you had it coming when you got a girl that was dating someone else and you in some way stole someone else's gf without knowing.
and its not the other guys fault, he culd have been told by her "im gonna break up with him etc shit" so hes the same as u despite what you think.

hey,don't worry you'll be fine, you find someone better.
Nothing serious happened I mean :
no children, no kids are gonna lose a parent
no marriage, bitch aint gonna get half your money
no drugs involved, she aint got you on crack or some shit
no large gift buying for her, no money loss

btw i read the whole thing woot

edit: i just read that your 15 and shes 14, the words i love you comes $1 USD for 12 hours in phillipines + proof of love, now we gotta admits that aint worth shit.
(source: bbc news, booming SE asian prostitution industry)
at your age it saying i love you is seriously isnt worth crap especially without the proof bit.

on a side note

FenaCorp wrote:

So long story short,

also i lol'd when you said that after a story 15paragraphs long

Rainigul · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 4490 **Location:**

cin wrote:

[SD]Rainigul wrote:

cin wrote:

edit: imo you were in love but you didnt love her
and dont get me wrong; thats not meant to be mean, but i think
thats the way it is.

I don't get it.

well in dutch it is a big difference between "verliefd zijn" en "houden van".
i will try to find you a good example.

I am aware of this difference

I'm glad I lived in the Netherlands, it was cool. Anyways, if you directly translate the Dutch, it isn't the same as "In love" and "love", it's like "In love with" and "Loves"... But... It's just different. Houden isn't exactly love, at least I never thought so.
Anyways, gonna spare a long rant and just end here.

Quote:

edit: this is what i found on teh intrawebz

Intrawebz wrote:

It's helpful to know the difference between loving someone and "being in love," and it helps to do both in a relationship.

for example i meet a girl and i date her for like a week. she is very cute
and nice, and i like her but i dont know all about her yet so there might be
things i dont like about her. these things i dont notice because i only see
the good things cause she looks good and is fun to hang around with and
seems to be interested in me. at that point, i think about her a lot and i am
falling in love. this is how relationships normally start.

when you know just about everything about a woman, you know her goods
and her bads and like her even though she has a bad side, you are willing
to give up everything to be with her and you plan for her to have a spot in
your heart in the future, then you love her, you care about her and you
find it very hard or impossible to imagine a life without her.

there is / seems to be a possibility to get to know all about a woman and
love her for it by just looking in her eyes. thats called love at first sight and
rarely / never happens.

Yeah, I know that there is a difference of love and in love... I just didn't understand what you meant when you said "You are in love, but you don't love her". How is that possible? I thought it went "You love, then you're in love". And it couldn't work the other way.
So, how can you be in love, yet not love? Is it that you can't see yourself living without that person, even though you don't like them?

[EDIT:]

Oh, I read your other post and it seems like you did reverse it. That's what was confusing me.
It sort of leaves this entire post void, but I'll leave it there anyways for accurate historical documenting.

LuV3r8o1 · **Joined:** Oct 2006 **Posts:** 1194 **Location:**

FenaCorp wrote:

About Alicia - she was confiding in me, at that time, actually. She was beginning to get really sick of Sophia, and her lies, and at that precise time, I had popped up and started talking to her about it. I think she just needed someone to confide in. She's the kind of girl that hangs out with lots of freshmen / sophomores that go to my school, although she's just in 7th grade herself. One year younger than Sophia, and two younger than me. Really mature for her age, however, and she's proven to be a good friend.

I still say she's not to be trusted.

FenaCorp wrote:

Thanks for the comment, Luv3r. So, should I just forget her? Tell her, atleast or something? Or just let it be?
I mean, she sounded SO sincere.

Never forget. That's just how I feel about situations.

Now, I can't tell you what to do. Just do what you feel will benefit you in the long run. Don't follow how you feel now. Follow the outcome that you won't regret. Take a completely objective point of view and weight every aspect of every option - then make a decision.
That's hard to do for a 15 yr old. Nothing personal, its true. You're young and just not wise (not saying that I am). Especially in a situation like this, things are fuzzy as to what your heart feels and what is actually best for you in the long run and how to distinguish those things.

cin wrote:

i agree with ito. she will do whatever she can to keep you both on a leash.
like i said; ive been there.

edit: imo you were in love but you didnt love her
and dont get me wrong; thats not meant to be mean, but i think
thats the way it is.

I know what you're saying. But I don't think that's possible. You can't be in love w/o going past love.
Not trying to flame or argue or anything, just my opinion.

XemnasXD wrote:

PS: You don't E-Mail, Text Message, or Blog break-up ever....its just lame

+1

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:17 am

[SD]Rainigul wrote:

Yeah, I know that there is a difference of love and in love... I just didn't understand what you meant when you said "You are in love, but you don't love her". How is that possible? I thought it went "You love, then you're in love". And it couldn't work the other way.
So, how can you be in love, yet not love? Is it that you can't see yourself living without that person, even though you don't like them?

well like i said i probably messed up translating them, but i think my examples
speak for themselves. i didnt want to use this term, but what i another name
for "verliefd zijn" when you are young could be translated as "puppy love".

ill try explain the two terms i used again, a bit easier this time..
- you are in love with just some hot chick
- you love your wife

so thats why i said maybe fena was in love, but did not love her. i was
kinda talking about loving her like wanting to spend the rest of his life with
her.

so yea look at the part in read. seems i got them wrong way around. so
dont mind me, just swap the two words when you hear me talkin about em

Nixweerd · **Joined:** Jun 2007 **Posts:** 94

The best thing to do is just go on with your life really.
It sounds hard I know, but that's the best thing you can do.

After I broke up with my ex gf I still thought about her a lot and didn't really think of getting someone else.
Until some other girl I knew started kissing me, so I got a new girlfriend from that time.
She really opened my eyes that there is more then just the one girl.
From that time on I haven't thought much about that girl.
Now I am in australia I don't speak her that much either and I don't even care anymore.
Now my last gf kissed someone else while i am here, i really thought like wtf.
But I also thought, if she can't wait until i'm back, she probably isn't the one for me

I don't have the experience of a girl cheating on me, but I do have this experience I written here.

So I hope this will help you a bit.

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:20 am

Nixweerd wrote:

Now my last gf kissed someone else while i am here, i really thought like wtf.

Itonami · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 3182 **Location:**

I have loved, and I have lost.
I was with my boy for right around 3 years.
We had a rocky relationship from the beginning, and we always did our best to fight for our cause together.
He cheated on me, I forgave him because he seemed sincere. I gave him a chance and now he has a child on the way with a girl he slept with while we were together. Karma. *ahem*
It hurts every single day. it hurts every time I think about it, and there's times that I just want to break down and cry. Sometimes I want to break things.

Some people are amazing at putting on the face they want you to see. No matter how long you're with someone.. be it a week or a century you'll end up learning something during that time period. it'll hurt when things eventually come to an end in the case that things don't work. All I can really say is make your feelings known, and don't be afraid to do things for yourself. I cant really judge your situation 100% because i'm not part of the ordeal. All I can say is, to me it doesnt seem like she's being honest with you, I've experienced that kind of thing and i've seen it go on around me in my friends' relationships. If something doesn't feel right, it isn't right. if you have doubts, then it's not right. Trust, respect, and a bit or morality make for a good relationship, and if you can't start things off with all three of those, it's bound to be a disaster.

So, I think it's best for you to walk away from this before it hurts you anymore, because emotional pain is capable of destroying each and every human being in the world. That sounds dramatic, but it's true. Walk away before you're in a situation you don't want to be. Keep her as a friend if you'd like, but at this point in time.. I dont think a relationship is beneficial or possible in this situation.

XuChu · **Joined:** Apr 2006 **Posts:** 2429 **Location:** here

cin wrote:

speak for themselves. i didnt want to use this term, but what i another name
for "verliefd zijn" when you are young could be translated as "puppy love".

puppy love?
i always thought thats like 30 year old guy and 8 year old boy love.

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:24 am

XuChu wrote:

cin wrote:

speak for themselves. i didnt want to use this term, but what i another name
for "verliefd zijn" when you are young could be translated as "puppy love".

puppy love?
i always thought thats like 30 year old guy and 8 year old boy love.

pfffffffff nevermind. i wish my native language was english. i think that after
3 large posts of explanation, people could just leave it alone and knew what
i was talking about. but meh ive had enough. ill google my words next time.

Itonami · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 3182 **Location:**

cin wrote:

XuChu wrote:

cin wrote:

speak for themselves. i didnt want to use this term, but what i another name
for "verliefd zijn" when you are young could be translated as "puppy love".

puppy love?
i always thought thats like 30 year old guy and 8 year old boy love.

pfffffffff nevermind. i wish my native language was english. i think that after
3 large posts of explanation, people could just leave it alone and knew what
i was talking about. but meh ive had enough. ill google my words next time.

Puppy love is a quick crush, a quick fling.. somethign that develops fast and seems real, when it is in fact just an overly-developed crush.

XuChu · **Joined:** Apr 2006 **Posts:** 2429 **Location:** here

cin wrote:

XuChu wrote:

cin wrote:

speak for themselves. i didnt want to use this term, but what i another name
for "verliefd zijn" when you are young could be translated as "puppy love".

puppy love?
i always thought thats like 30 year old guy and 8 year old boy love.

pfffffffff nevermind. i wish my native language was english. i think that after
3 large posts of explanation, people could just leave it alone and knew what
i was talking about. but meh ive had enough. ill google my words next time.

no, you got it wrong lol.
i wasnt trying correct you, i was just asking cuz t-bag on prison break goes "puppy love"/ "pocket love" and hes a pedolphile

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:27 am

[NF]Itonami wrote:

cin wrote:

XuChu wrote:

cin wrote:

speak for themselves. i didnt want to use this term, but what i another name
for "verliefd zijn" when you are young could be translated as "puppy love".

puppy love?
i always thought thats like 30 year old guy and 8 year old boy love.

pfffffffff nevermind. i wish my native language was english. i think that after
3 large posts of explanation, people could just leave it alone and knew what
i was talking about. but meh ive had enough. ill google my words next time.

Puppy love is a quick crush, a quick fling.. somethign that develops fast and seems real, when it is in fact just an overly-developed crush.

k well thats what i meant thnx.
o and i dont watch prison break

edit: so this part of the discussion is done

HyorunmarouZ · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 1839 **Location:** Hell.

[SD]Rainigul wrote:

Yeah, I know that there is a difference of love and in love... I just didn't understand what you meant when you said "You are in love, but you don't love her". How is that possible? I thought it went "You love, then you're in love". And it couldn't work the other way.
So, how can you be in love, yet not love? Is it that you can't see yourself living without that person, even though you don't like them?

I understand that statement differently...

There are times when a lot of stuff happens in your life and you think you can't tell anyone and try to keep many things for yourself, and don't even speak about them with friends, family, etc.

Some times you need someone to trust in and can't find it but in a "boyfriend/girlfriend" or that kind of relationship.

What i understand from the statement is: you might need the love and you might be "in love" but not exactly with the person, but with what you need from that person. That's why "you can be in love but not love her"

fena · **Joined:** May 2007 **Posts:** 4441 **Location:** Life

XuChu wrote:

FenaCorp wrote:

Love at first sight? No. But very close to that.

I knew you were farked as soon as i read that. ^ dont exist, pure love does not exist.

Now you had it coming when you got a girl that was dating someone else and you in some way stole someone else's gf without knowing.
and its not the other guys fault, he culd have been told by her "im gonna break up with him etc shit" so hes the same as u despite what you think.

hey,don't worry you'll be fine, you find someone better.
Nothing serious happened I mean :
no children, no kids are gonna lose a parent
no marriage, bitch aint gonna get half your money
no drugs involved, she aint got you on crack or some shit
no large gift buying for her, no money loss

btw i read the whole thing woot

edit: i just read that your 15 and shes 14, the words i love you aint comes $1 USD for 12 hours in phillipines + proof of love, now we gotta admits that aint worth shit.
(source: bbc news, booming SE asian prostitution industry)
at your age it saying i love you is seriously isnt worth crap especially without the proof bit.

I know, man. I know. Really puts my little troubles into perspective...

cin wrote:

Nixweerd wrote:

Now my last gf kissed someone else while i am here, i really thought like wtf.

If I'm correct, Cin, you're going through the same thing as Nix?

Think you mentioned it in the BF/GF Thread.

cin wrote:

XuChu wrote:

cin wrote:

speak for themselves. i didnt want to use this term, but what i another name
for "verliefd zijn" when you are young could be translated as "puppy love".

puppy love?
i always thought thats like 30 year old guy and 8 year old boy love.

pfffffffff nevermind. i wish my native language was english. i think that after
3 large posts of explanation, people could just leave it alone and knew what
i was talking about. but meh ive had enough. ill google my words next time.

Cin, I totally got what you mean. There was a quote that came from a movie called Captain Corelli's Mandolin or something, describing what you're talking about:

Quote:

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!

To everyone else who replied: Thank you, once again. Still trying to digest all this... very, very deep stuff, atleast to me.
:love:

SRF.

XemnasXD · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:23 am

XuChu wrote:

I knew you were farked as soon as i read that. ^ dont exist, pure love does not exist.

you don't believe in pure love....or just not pure love at first sight

your life is like one big downer

Itonami · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 3182 **Location:**

Just because you haven't experienced something doesn't make it a fairy tale.

MastaChiefX · **Joined:** Nov 2006 **Posts:** 4526 **Location:** Life.

I would love to help...
but people who know me well know I can't hold a relationship worth a shit.

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:44 am

MastaChiefX wrote:

I would love to help...
but people who know me well know I can't hold a relationship worth a shit.

thats no reason not to advice a friend

XemnasXD · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:51 am

cin wrote:

MastaChiefX wrote:

I would love to help...
but people who know me well know I can't hold a relationship worth a shit.

thats no reason not to advice a friend

...actually isn't that a great reason...

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:52 am

XemnasXD wrote:

cin wrote:

MastaChiefX wrote:

I would love to help...
but people who know me well know I can't hold a relationship worth a shit.

thats no reason not to advice a friend

...actually isn't that a great reason...

ive been in some relationships but never in one with like the love of my life.
the longest relationship ive been in so far lasted about 2 months i think. i have
however adviced many of my friends and my brothers what they should do,
and im pretty damn good at it.

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